The Evergreen

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I’ve seen the Angry Young Man and felt awed and at times despised, have seen the SRK and again would smile at him, look at him and move on, the great Dilip Kumar was never my taste, the amir being too perfect for me, and salman too mindless. Raj Kapoor was a bit too distant despite being in the same age as anyone, Rajesh Khanna would almost always remain a caricature in my mind, Dharmendra would be amongst the favourite of the lot and yet, the Haryana ka jatt with his muscular and monkeyish prowess would always be a show great and yet nothing more. Guru dutt shall remain a figure beyond comprehension for most ordinary minds. Shammi Kapoor being the one who appealed most among the lot, with his brand of rock n roll music and his Yahoo, was the epitome of what I liked on the screen.

And yet above all, stand the ever enthralling, evergreen Dev Anand. I don’t have a clue as to when Dev Anand must have come into the circle of my senses. All I can guess is, must have been an infant, my mom being a big (old hindi) music buff. Although my mom, if any had a choice in Shammi Kapoor, so while she has been a huge reason in me imbibing a taste for Shammi. Dev was a self developed taste, just like many others. And yet, the kind of love, the imbibement, the recognition I had with this artist, his muic and his movies, have never felt anywhere.

I had thought of writing about the great Shammi kapoor when he died, unfortunately the lethargy gave away. Yet when the evergreen tree fades away, I really had to express my pain, the hurt of losing someone, who never was present in my life and yet was always a presence.I’ve always seen him the simple, loving guy, ready to share a word or two, a smile or two, hardly ever tackling the bullies and yet be smart enough to get through. I’ve always wondered at his wit, have always smiled at his smarrt assery, always wanted to be the fav of all like he always was, with his gentle speech and yet more than anything he has been my love guru. Music and love are two of the vital cogs in my life (Knowledge and happiness being two of the others), and this is where this love guru has always touched me, he’s taught me how to express love, how to feel love and how to love a person. It might not be your sweet heart, it might be the guy next door, or your lovely mother. The day I start accepting all with love, I’d feel like returning something to my love guru, The Raju Guide/Jewel Thief/inspector Shekhar/The captain Anand/the Heera/the Johny&lt who although would always have had others' words put in his mouth but must've had some efforts in cultivating such an image.

Today, the man breathed his last, I am a bit sad, the logic behind which I wouldn’t really understand. Not as if he was doing any more work or churning out some gems like before. I'm not sad because a person is dead, I'm perhaps thick skinned enough to care of any celeb's death. The biggest loss I feel is, that some part of me might have gone with him, how will now I say the words "Abhi na jao chhod ke" to my sanam. How shall I now hum "main zindagi ka sath nibhata chala gaya", how shall I console myself by humming to myself "kabhi khud pe kabhi haalat pe rona aaya" when the man who gave me these lines, these words which have stayed me through my life is gone. Some hollowness shall ring through me, every time I try to express my love, my life, my pain in his words. The only other image to portray me so truly, the Beatles were always an entity for me, gone long before I knew them. Dev Anand instead was always that happy, shaky, cheerful,smart and likable person on screen who was still the evergreen when I opened my eyes, well past his prime.

I wouldn’t try and ring any of his words to describe the situation, he was the one who always created the words and he never created one for such a real occasion, he wouldn’t even have ever wanted to. All he'd ever want to talk of would be Life. If only i was skilled enough as his writers were, would have written a lot about the Dev Anand breed of love and life, yet being just a guy, would sign off with 5 of my fav Dev Anand songs.

1. Hum Hain Rahi Pyaar Ke

2. Abhi Na jao chhod ke

3. Main zindagi ka sath nibhata chala gaya

4. Hai Apna dil to awara

5.Dil ka bhanwar

Nero’s Remorse

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(Famous painting, Remorse of Nero by John William Waterhouse, which got me into writing this)

She was the Empress, She was Augusta
She was my mother, She gave me birth
I am the Caesar, I’m the will
And it was her blood that law demanded

She had to be killed
She was the treacherous
She looked to usurp the Caesar
That bloody woman shall never be calm

Claudius, she killed with, The Food of God
My turn could have come again
Britannicus was her next cog in wheel
The cat could never be tamed

I wanted it a peaceful tale
I arranged for her to go the Gods
If only she could have sunk in the Nemi lake
I had it all arranged nice and calm

She the treacherous, still ran away
Dare again she disobey the Caesar great
Had no choice, no words left
I had to kill her, by the hand

For never shall a citizen be above empire
Never shall a conspirator be left alive
No eyes that look at throne shall ever be spared
For above you all, lies the Caesar

She were to be executed as the order decried
She was my mother, who gave me birth
Yet all along in front of court, cried the ungainly wretch
“Smite my womb, that produced the son abominable”

As the dagger, struck the wound
In front of these eyes, her gift divine
As the woman most strong lay down in dust
She the woman most beautiful, bore it with a sigh

Years dozen have come and gone
Since that fateful night in Rome.
Justice was served,the treacherous was killed
Justice was served,a mother was lost

I could never kill the empress
How could I banish the woman great
The arm of justice had it made and done
For above you all, lies the Caesar


My (almost correct) historically retelling of the remorse of Roman Emperor, Nero on his act of getting his mother, Agrippina killed. Agrippina is one of the devious n famous women in Roman history described as ‘ruthless, ambitious, violent and domineering’ by various historians. She had incestuous relations with her brother (who was Emperor Caligula) gaining almost empirical powers during his reign, married her uncle Emperor Claudius, whom she then killed to bring her son, Nero to power. Only to be plotting against him as well, as he started drifting off from her influence and trying to supplant him with Britannicus, son of Claudius.

As wiki lists out, her list of victims is not too small. And yet getting her killed for his own safety, was an event her son, rued all his life.

Admiring Wrong people


While I was growing up, I had read / listened a quote, quite a few times. I am not sure about the origins of the quote, a part of my brain says, it could have been the gyaan doled out by Gautam Buddha, other part says, it’s a basic tenet of Hindu Religion, while the other part of my brain says, it could have been just a general quote uttered by some unknown person, in some unknown text at some unknown time which has persevered through some pages of history. The quote says a very simple thing
“Hate the wrong, not the wrong-doer” or to say in hindi
“घ्रणा पाप से करो पापी से नहीं  “
Many years from then, I have no interest/affinity left for religions, hinduism or buddhism, but this one line has always stayed with me. One of the things I like to abide by in my life.

This, whole background, can be understood as continuation of my earlier post. The reason I can’t hate Hitler, the reason I can’t hate Godse, the reason I can’t hate Saddam or Osama. I will until the day of my death condemn the actions of these man and will argue for long hours with someone who doesn’t consider  these men’s actions wrong, or who appreciates/support their actions (again, not all actions, but my reader would be sufficiently intelligent and aware to decipher which actions I am talking of).

Yet, leave aside Hitler (who I have always been appreciative of in some sense). You ask me to hate the person Osama or you ask me to perhaps kill such a person if they are under my power (which would be a very fitting solution in eyes of many). I shall pull my hands back and strongly disagree with you.  Although I might not have problem with a court of law awarding them death penalty, as it the duty of the court to punish the guilty for their actions.This is one of the points of meeting of my mathematical/scientific philosophies and the humanitarian/historical ideas. I have always been a strong believer in the concept of duality, which in my opinion is one of the very basic fundamentals this universe/existence is based on.

Applying that scientific funda to humans/history is where I (just for myself) exonerate these wrong people from eternal hatred on my side. I consider a person and his actions as the two components of a single unit, which although can’t be separated from each other and shall always define each other. But, it is always possible to analyse the two different components of that unit individually which is, where you will find the support for all these ‘individuals’. Because leaving aside the actions of these people, they are humans, who have some ideas (talking about the ones different from their actions), who have done some deeds, who have achieved something in their life. Who might have been a success, who might have been examples to the future generations to achieve (preferably something else) in their lives.

All these arguments might seem fantasy words to the people who have suffered at the hands of such tyrants, and they have my heart-felt apologies. I will always like to such criminals meted out their deserved punishments. But I, myself would like to follow this funda of not overlooking the good/impressive qualities these ‘Wrong people’ have! Some people hate Nehru for the division of India, the loss of POK and many such things, some people might kill Jinnah for his actions which were instrumental in the partition of India, which resulted in such a horrendous blood bath and separated brothers on either side of the border.

And, as long as I have the belief in the concept of duality, I can always be found admiring a Gandhi, a Hitler, an Osama (perhaps, haven’t found anything very impressive in him yet) and mentioning them all in one single line with some respect, some disregard, some curiosity.

Gandhi, Godse, Hitler


Very often do I have people asking me the question. Why do I admire/appreciate/whatever Hitler? Don’t I agree with the fact that he was a mass murdered and all that. In many words and at various times, I have tried and explain this answer. Yet, more or less, my words fail me when it comes to expressing it. One (of the few ) good things you can find about him is, The Revolution. He was the one, who came who changed, the man of action. One who had ideas and had the guts and ability to steer the course of an entire nation, and almost the whole world.

The second ques, which might arise in the mind of anyone reading this title is, Gandhi & Hitler, def can be used in close proximity, but how does Godse get the honour of being his name taken in such esteemed company. Thats where my point tries to sneak through in midst of these names. Godse, if nothing, is an interesting character in Indian history. There have always been assassins through the history of world. Even India has had its share of assassins, so nothing new in that activity. Yet,

This was the man who killed Gandhi, who killed Mahatma, who killed the biggest apostle of peace, who killed a bapu of a nation, who killed one of the most famous person in human history  and (arguably) most famous Indian ever. He, as an individual, should have been absolutely destroyed in the modern history, as it was written by the followers/fans of the Mahatma.

All this said and done, we never find Godse’s name maligned. We never hear accounts of him being a beastly human with more penchant for blood than feelings. Facts are facts which can’t be changed much, but folk lore or the stories are the part which can be fabricated anytime by anyone, and made to look real by the situations, we have seen enough examples of that. This, very fact combined with the statement of Godse, and whatever I have read of him on net and books, makes me put Godse on the same pedestal as Gandhi and Hitler, in the same sense that I admire history.

They were all revolutionaries, they had some (misguided at times?) set of rules, they had some principles, they thought about things and executed what they wanted to, in the fashion they wanted to. What makes them all different from simple, men of actions, is the effect on society. Agreed, Godse wouldnt stand anywhere near the two, and even if he hadn’t, the old man would have died in a few years if not months, by himself (or the self induced fasts). But, his revolution lay not in, ridding India of Gandhi, which was his purpose. Rather, it can be more understood, as a man standing against the Mahatma.

She’s a poet


She’ s a poet
She’s got all she needs
She’s a poet, she can change the world
She can paint the skies red
She can turn the fire mellow
She is a poet
She can do it all with a flick

She’s a poet
She’s got all she needs
Sun, the moon and stars above
Can never know the secrets of this world
She is the one who writes them all
She is a poet
She’s everywhere you know

She’s a poet
She’s got all she needs
Deaths, lives and births alone
They never can affect her
She is above us all away
She is a poet
She’ll charm you away

I am only human


Curb me, don’t isolate me
Hate me, don’t insulate me
Rule me, don’t undertake me
Rate me, don’t classify me
Chide me, don’t ascribe me
Rebuke me, don’t dispatch me
Move me, don’t write me
Learn me, don’t teach me
Manipulate me, don’t maneuver me

Play with me, never play me
I am a human
Don’t estimate me




कुदरत भी मैं हूँ, करिश्मा भी मैं ही
मैं ताकत भी हूँ, कमजोरियां मुझसे ही मिली
मैं नफरत भी हूँ, मुहब्बत नाम मेरा ही

महरूम भी मैं हूँ, खुशनसीबी भी मेरी
अजीबियत है मुझमें, आवाम भी मैं ही
फ़साने भी मैं सुनाऊँ, कसूर भी मेरे

बुलंदियां हैं मेरी, शिगाफे भी मैंने देखे
दानिश भी मैं हूँ, जाहिलियत भी मुझीमें
समझदारी महबूबा मेरी, महबूबा ही मेरी नादानी

मिसालियत ये मेरी, कि मैं हूँ एक इंसान



کدرت بھی میں ہوں   ،  کرشمہ بھی میں  ہی
میں ٹکٹ بھی ہوں  ،  کمزوریاں بھی مجھسے ملی
میں نفرت بھی ہوں    ،   محبّت نام میرا ہی

محروم بھی میں ہوں  ،   خوشنصیبی بھی میری
اجیبیت ہے مجھمے  ،  اوم بھی میں ہی
فسانے بھی میں سنوں  ،   کسور بھی میرے

بلندیاں ہے میری  ،  شگافےبھی مینے دیکھ
دانش بھی میں ہوں، جاہلیت بھی مجھمے
سمجھداری محبوبہ میری ،  محبوبہ ہی میری نادانی

مسلیت  یے میری کی میں ہوں ےک انسان


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