I Lost :(

For the first time in the 20 years of my life i have delved my hand in the art of poetry writing and i just wish that this doesnt make all the great poets writhe around in their graves and all living forms intelligent enough to read it dont curse me. NOT such a simple ask considering the quality of the poem but considering this is my first affair with poetry,i can be spared a curse or two. Thanking you in advance

Think i am losing it out
all my supports are waning out

It just seems like a lost cause
and all the hopes seem lost

I am wandering alone in the scum
hoping to find some old chum

Desert me is what they have done
was it because i am not the one

Am i the one who was wronged
or was it because of me that it end

Think i should just drown my sorrow
but to bury it i need an endless burrow

I look at the calmness of the sea
and that just makes me more sorry

I know how it feels to lose
and now only pain is what i ooze

My trophy has been gone
but cant let my life go down

I am looking for a refuge
but the pain has taken charge

Waiting for someone to come
and lift this gloom

I will just remain hopeful
that i will find happiness to the full

Just looking up to the sky in a time so dour
to find that meagre streak of colour

Song of the day:- Here comes the Sun by Beatles

PS1:- Reading Harry Potter and Half Blood prince
PS2:- Weather’s not that bad here… 🙂
PS3:- Feeling sleepy right now but have to go to PT tom
PS4:- Just now noticed that i wrote these lines in 30 mins.. good for a first timer wouldnt u say
PS5:- These are 13 couplets if you must have noticed coz i just love the number
PS6:- Didnt know what a cuplet is before mentioning it in PS5 but now that i know these lines satisfy the properties of couplets
PS7:- I like the no. 7 too and 3 and 4 and of course many more numbers… 😛

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24 thoughts on “I Lost :(

  1. It is a nice start.Would like to see a poem in the future wherin rhyming is not given so much importance.Keep blogging.Gud post!

  2. gud 1 …. i likd d way u tried 2 rhyme d wrds …. wud lv 2 read sm poem by u vidout rhyming wrds coz i think it’s difficult 2 giv d feel of a poem in vich dere z no rhyming…. keep up d gud wrk.

  3. In 30 minutes!! :O Excellent!!Even though trying to rhyme might sometimes fail to bring out the emotions,the rhyming which you have done brought out all the emotions aptly..Great work..I liked this post a lot!!

  4. It was a very good start i must say but u have given a lot of importance on rhyming but i liked the whole way it was written yaar keep writing more poems ….

  5. Well, it was good! 🙂 But can’t comment much about it…
    I tried writing poems 11th and 12th and failed miserably! So can’t comment! 😀

  6. nice attempt by a first timer…….the rhyming scheme is very nice ……. waiting 4 some more gud work…keep blogging

  7. I was trying to read err!! sing it in rock tune ….
    man we can start our own band …..
    u n Maroo write the songs … we have Adi , Manish n Gavar as the guitarist …
    I will be the drummer… Pappu as the manager and the rest of the gang will be the audience ….
    koi to hona chahiye gana sun ne ke liye ….
    Rock on ……

  8. Wandering alone in the scum, drowning in the sorrow, feeling like a loser, looking at the calmness of the sea, looking for a refuge, waiting for someone to come, remaining with hope and just looking up to the sky.

    I wish your software/project or whatever takes your poem and gives images in the above avatars.

    “Ayoo Rama” …you are going to P.T and what’s with these numbers.

  9. well a gud start………what’s that ..that’s happening thr…….first karan then you……everyone seems to have taken some course on poetry………..but a sincere advice…….which people already have seem to taken notice of………’don’t go too deep in rhymes……one loses the feel….’ and plz next time do write on something more encouraging………passionate…….lively…………keep posting…

  10. @ Abbulu,Karan,Vipul,Anshul: Thanx man!! 🙂

    @ Namrata: Somehow the image i have in my mind of a poem is one that rhymes.. will do some research on this topic…

    @ Prateek : Dude just sit down once and you will see that the words just flow out

    @ Manish : Sale i felt that rhyming makes it difficult to bring out the meaning

    @ Deepti: Thanx dear… 😀

    @ Bhanu: Thanx and i would say the same as for namrata will write the next one which doesnt rhyme..

    @ Sainani : I can understand your feelings… i also am not able to understan the poems of others many times and cant comment anything 😉

    @ Chand: DOnt tell you are thinking of becoming the vocalist of that band, i dont want to be hit by eggs,tomatoes and shoes… 😛

    @ Anubha: Thanx 🙂

    @ PSS: I dont think there is a bright future of that project..and i am going for PT coz i have to complete my credits and Telugu hero naaaah… unless the actress is Genelia or Ileana….Luv them…

    @ Shikha : Thanx but such a long comment

    @ Pagare: Thanx be…

    @ Pankaj: Its not a course in poetry just letting the emotions flow… ya will try to write something like that but was feeling down that day so these are the verses that came to my mind

    @ Ankit : 🙂

    @ Maruti,Adi, What more: What the helll… copy,paste… :X

  11. if u could write this in thirty minutes…u could really write something worth getting published if u give adequate time to it

  12. cant stop me from commenting ….. when i read it again now it feels much more touching ….. ur first poem for someone so special 😛 …. kudos to that friendship 🙂

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