Smoker’s Guide!

PS : SMOKING KILLS , Author of the post asks everyone to refrain from doing so but if you are addicted to it, then in the words of Led Zeppelin (whose t-shirt I am wearing right now) just Ramble On
Smoking must most definitely be the oldest means of recreation along with may be sex. Although it is amongst the things supremely harmful for humans, and yet in a company of 10 males you would generally not see more than 5 non-smokers, this is definitely the biggest addiction that the world has ever found, even bigger than that of money.

According to Che Guevara, “A smoke in times of rest is a great companion to the solitary soldier.”

So I thought why not share some of the info I have with the newbies, who might be taking tiny steps in this direction 🙂

Cigarette The most used method of blowing up the fumes. By and large the sole winner in the race. Smoked by everyone from a rickshaw driver to Shahrukh Khan. You might not be able to find water if you need but a smoke will always be around the corner if you want one.
Avg Price – Rs. 5 for a unit
Ranges from 1 – 10

Beedi – Poor man’s cigarette! Bloody affordable, I guess you get a bundle of 10 or so for 2 or so rupees. Wont generally see people in cities smoking up a beedi, its generally more of a rural tendency. Gulzar and Bipasha Basu had quite a role  in increasing its popularity, a few years back :).
Price – Rs. 2-3 for a bundle

Cigar Smoke of the rich and the sophisticated, cigar is generally considered a sign of eliteness! Normal people with the culture as stature as me would generally have a cigar once in a while, may be to celebrate an occasion or to try the novelty for once.
Price Range – Starts from 30 can go on to anywhere

Pipe – The most popular man to have smoked a pipe in the history would be Sherlock Holmes. Without any doubts he would be the first name to come to my mind when you talk about Pipe. This is the most sophisticated and elite way of having smoke. Practised more as an indulgence rather than need even in the sophisticated and the higher echelons of society. It might be the oldest method of smoking, which has lost its sheen with time.

Hukka – Long before the advent of cigarettes, cigars and pipes, humans have always been smokers and its to that time that the roots of hookah can be traced, the grandfather of all the ways of smoking! It regains the excitement and following till date. A huge surge in its popularity has been caused by the presence of flavoured hookah in almost all coffee shops around, where you can have a smoke which isnt harmful and doesnt contain Nicotine or THC in it.

Chillum If pipe is associated with Sherlock Holmes, then chillum brings only one image to your mind, that of a fakhir smoking it on the banks of Ganga. Generally used to smoke cannabis can ofcourse also be used for smoking tobacco. Not much in vogue with the the aam junta as you might to refer to it as.

Joint The cigarette of doping! I guess ~80% (random guess, no figures) or so of cannabis must be smoked this way. Generally a joint is made by filling marijuana inside a emptied out cigarette and then smoking it like you would a normal cigarette. Another common method of making up a joint is doing it in a roller paper. Variety of roller papers being generally available in big paan shops.
Price – Depends on the cig you use, price of the stufff you’ve got!
Generally ~5 INR

Bong Could be called the hookah of doping! The smoke from the marijuana is made to pass through water or any other fluid before inhaling it, thus removing most of the particulated matter in the smoke. Considered a safer bet than a joint and yet obviously harmful. Even home made bongs using Cold drink bottles and bodies of unused pens is quite popular amongst the youth. Its recent moment of glory came when Michael Phelps was caught smoking one, some time back!

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15 thoughts on “Smoker’s Guide!

  1. I did not read the whole post… But I want to protest here against the ever increasing price of Cigarettes … first it was 88 per pack then 94 now 98 …
    WTF!

  2. “chillum brings only one image to your mind, that of a fakhir smoking it on the banks of Ganga.”

    I object to the use of the term “fakhir”. They’re Sadhus, not fakhirs 🙂

  3. Dude you should continue this post with what brands of cigarette available in hyd , kind of guide for starters to know various styles of smoking and brands 😛

    and my ^:)^ :^)^ for this valuable post

  4. @ nilpa : Someday.. someday!!
    @ Chand : I know man.. fucking Bull shit!! In north everywhere a Milds is 6 bucks 😐
    @ Aniket : Its all a game of language.. in english, you generally use the term fakir to describe such people!
    @ Cherry : Actually thats quite a nice idea.. will see if i can do that 🙂
    @ Abhishek : glad you liked it 🙂

  5. @ Mansi : Sorry ma’am 😛
    @ Prav : Thanks man!! I am talking about the hukkah served in coffee shops these days, its just coal smokes, which afaik is mostly harmless!!
    @ Sushant : Thanks man 🙂

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